You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
