I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
