she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she woke up with a sticky ear
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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