Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
