why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
