I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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