we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
