ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's rum buckets o'clock
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
