are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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