Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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