please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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