I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
