ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
