Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
