I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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