Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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