whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
zippers are such a cool invention
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
