All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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