Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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