Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
