Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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