hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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