your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
