and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
