I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
