omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
