..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
