if i died would you start the facebook group?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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