if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
