You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
