that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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