I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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