We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
