her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
