i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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