I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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