Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You are a genius and a whore.
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