i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
