Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
