If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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