Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
