If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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