those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
