Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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