We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
should my penis look like a turkey
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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