Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
