we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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