I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
