yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Screwed.edu
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
