Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
